Oscar.

I tried to watch the Oscars this year, but I always get turned away when I realize how out of the loop I am with the latest batch of contenders. I saw Ray. And that's really about fuckin' it. So I was pretty hyped when Jamie Foxx won. Congrats Jamie. I'll still love you the most for your roles in Booty Call and Any Given Sunday though. You know that scene when you're wrapping yourself in the saran wrap? Genius.

Chris Rock was a welcome flip of the script. His open killed me. And the Magic Johnson Theatre? Dope. Chronicles of Riddick... Number One Movie of the Year. No Number Two.

So since I wasn't able to bitch and moan because the people I really wanted to win didn't win, I relegated myself to just looking at all the pretty people. So where to begin?!?

Some of the girls were making comments about Scarlett's hair. What the fuck ever... Scarlett cracks me up. She once made a comment about how much she loved to dress sexy... About how comfortable she was with her body, and how dressing sexy made her feel good. Kind of hard not to be comfortable with a figure like that if you ask me.

Luckily I dig Beyoncé, so I didn't mind seeing her sing every damn Oscar nominated song. (Except that one Sideshow Bob sang.)

Well, and maybe the song she sang with that wanker Groban I could have done without.

"Why you gotta pair me up with the hot black chick that sings so much better than me?!?"
And Hova looked like a pimp.

For some reason I never got around to seeing Closer, but I rooted for Natalie all night anyway...

Anyone else ever see this similarity?

Sorry Natalie. Maybe you'll have better luck with Free Zone.

I can't remember the last time I saw Halle with long hair. But she looked pretty fly.

They didn't cut to Zhang Ziyi damn near enough. Probably because she was too busy flying around the theatre playing with swords and shit...

While Cate was busy arranging her son's marriage to the Scorsese family...

George was busy trying to arrange one of his adopted daughter's marriage to ANYONE...

Sorry... That was mean. I'm sure she's a very nice girl.

And that's pretty much all I got.
Oh. Except for Eliza and Jordana...

Here's to another year of Hollywood.